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It’s Been So Long…

I started writing the post below on May 31st but for some reason stopped and had not gotten back to it until today. Today (August 9th, 2012) for some reason I felt and followed the urge to at least write this statement on top of this post whether I finish the post is left to be seen.

Much has happened as you can probably imagine since I last posted (April 16th was the last post). On that day I went to see one of my role models Oprah Winfrey and some of the world’s leading thought leaders on life transformation…(Below you get a glimpse of my Oprah Day….

May 31st, 2012

Are you still out there?! I would not blame you if you weren’t not only have I been negligent to write in what feels like forever but I never reported back on the all important OPRAH Show in Toronto. Well on some level that show is in part to blame for why I have been away for a while.

In a word for me the show was REMARKABLE, just what I needed at the moment when I needed it. I am sure you have all read by now about the line-ups that went around numerous city blocks and the over 18,000 people (mostly women) who attended the 2 shows in Toronto so I won’t bore you with those details. As per usual I did not take pics; I have noticed a pattern in my life that when I am in a moment of significance I very rarely remember to take pictures and so I have done and experienced some amazing things but for some reason I never remember to document! All that being said I went with a fellow Traveling Black Chick so she can definitely Vouch for my presence at the show.

A quick Recap of the line-up:

We missed half of Deepak Chopra because I guess time was coming up and they could not wait for all 9000 of us to file into the venue. Deepak’s message was profound and deep. It resonated with me because for a very long time I have believed in the mind-body-spirit connect, the thoughts are things, you think it-you believe it -it is, theory. Physical Pain and illness is dis-ease or an expression of our spirit not at ease. From Deepak I took away the importance of being silent of listening and also the lesson of allowing things good and bad to go through me…release the emotion and judgement of what is happening in my life and observe that things are not happening to me but through me so all things are neither good or bad, they just are- thus providing me with opportunity for growth towards wisdom. The importance of paying attention to our lives, through meditation, through simply stopping, through deep breath, through smiling in my body, through observation and then proceeding with loving kindness, joy and love. What struck me the most about Deepak is his peaceful, calm being, nothing phased him, he was above the hype yet grounded at the same time.

“Eyes haven’t seen and my Ears haven’t heard the goodness that God has in store for me”

Iyanla Vanzant brought it home from the back of the house (literally); a stroke of genius from the event organiziers cause My Woman had the house rocking!! She came in to the blazing energy of the classic Heavy D and the Boyz track “Now that We’ve Found Love” and in typical Iyanla fashion she raised the energy in the room a couple of notches and seemingly reached out and touched almost everyone of us in there.  It felt fitting to pay tribute to the man, the music and the message at this moment so enjoy.

From the energy on the floor to the stage her messages was delivered with the wit and humour that is classic Iyanla. Years ago when I first discovered her books there was one particular lesson she’s taught that has always stayed with me and she mentioned it again in this life class. She speaks on the importance of watching the words we use to describe our state of being- E.g “Do not say “I am Broke”– say “I am cashless at the moment. ” OR do not say “I am Single”- instead say “I am waiting for my ideal mate to present himself in a manner I will realize.” Now yes these are very long winded ways to say simple things like I ain’t got no money and I ain’t got no man- but the lesson here is words are powerful and have the power to call into our lives what we speak. Repetition of the same thing in a particular way over and over can lead to the realization and continuation of said thing in your life -thus we remain broke and single and wonder why- simply we keep affirming the state of being every time we speak it. Change the way we describe what is going on in our lives can have impact. That makes a lot of sense to me. Iyanla also spoke about the importance of having a vision for your life and getting very clear about that vision, defining the how the what, the why. A key point to note according to Iyanla is that “the how sometimes only shows up on a need to know basis” so don’t wait for the “how” to start working the plan. This is where faith and the importance of listening comes in. She said it best…

“Be Still & Listen for the instruction instead of begging for the direction”

I have been working on that and yes indeed the instructions do come…I have only had to pay close attention! As an end note she also spoke about protecting our vision as in “Do Not Post it on Facebook” give it time to grow to be realized and then invite the world. Ignore the nay-sayers do not  allow ourselves to be programmed to what someone else says we can and cannot do.

Tony Robbins is HUGE! He is huge in every sense of the word big energy BIG man physically and coming after Iyanla had 9000 grown men and women screaming and shouting to change our state. Tony’s message could be boiled down simply to Say YES! to Life. That was an easy enough lesson to absorb as I have made YES a big part of my year.  In Tony’s lesson we were given a 3 prong approach to essentially getting to our vision. Have a proven and effective Strategy- Success leaves clues study those who have done it before you and design a strategy based on those clues.

Change my Story, as in do not let the inertia of the old story; my mom died when I was young, my husband left me – so I am depressed etc. etc. Essentially using all the ‘terrible” things that has ever happened in our lives stops us from moving forward. CHANGE the story. My Husband left me, I am alive and well and I can push on ahead. Rejection is Protection on to the next.Change Your Story. Change Your Life!  If we can get past the limitations of the stories we tell ourselves we will have breakthroughs in our lives!

Change my State– Our state is can be easily defined as our mood or manner of being in any one moment. Tony speaks about using physical movement and exclamations to energize ourselves out of negative spaces and behaviors.  Through a series of exercises he demonstrated how the energy we put behind our words, the way we carry ourselves, our physical  stance from moment to moment has a lot to do with our ability to fulfill our dreams.  Let’s just say by the end of his lesson grown men and women were screaming like wild banshees all energized and fist pumping our way into the excitement of our lives. My fellow TBC did not care to much for Tony’s style but I respect anyone who can get me to choose to jump up and down and feel so good!

Continued on August 9th- 

By far the person or the message I connected with the most was Bishop T.D. Jakes. Anyone who knows me knows I am the least religious person there is and thankfully Bishop Jakes message focused more on the pregnancy of ideas and of giving birth to our next great self.

As I write this I am actually far away from the notes that I wrote from what he said but what resonated with me most from Bishop Jakes message was how he likened trying to move to the next moment in your life as similar to giving birth.  Much like a pregnant mother giving birth he implored us to PUSH;  to get to the next phase to bring our best ideas to life we must PUSH! He  reminded us that sometimes births are difficult…and indeed I can strongly attest to that.

So for the past few months I had been pushing! A new idea, not really new actually, something I had been sitting on for a while- I decided to focus, to drop everything else and PUSH this idea to the front. In the months following that Oprah Show I pushed hard to birth my new idea.  Like all things making this new idea a reality took money and required other people’s help; two things that while I get that I need them to make things happen, I tend to hate having to ask for. Of these two things one of them remains a constant challenge for me to get and hold on to and the other I sometimes prefer doing without.  But the idea to reality rules dictates that these two things are part of the “birthing process”. There are reasons why I think I do not like these two particular keys, it’s because I always inevitably make stupid and long term mistakes where they are concerned. With Money I spend too much or spend what I don’t yet have…I create on a dream; I want and seek the BIG, the SPECTACULAR even when I do not have funds for it. This need to be big to present a big idea drives me to make the same stupid mistakes, the ones that then affect the friendships, ruin some even, I owe some really good people a lot. It’s time to pay back!

So this begs the question When Will I ever learn!!! Having now gone through a very challenging birthing process there is a need in me a desperation even to be honest to scream from the mountain tops that life is uncertain, the ground is unsteady, currently cash is very low, a dream on the verge of either being shattered or if I have the courage in some manner can be pushed through. That while yes I have given birth I feel like it was something of a still birth…like the baby only survived barely a month and I am ready to take it to the grave…all the PUSH, all the tears and pain and now I just want to let it go…to walk away because sometimes I just don’t want to push anymore…what really is the point of it all.hmmmm

August 10th – Yes the dream will continue. The Merit of the Idea is Good. It did not Fail it came off like everything new with glitches galore but still we pulled through. To Give up would be to dishonour the efforts and sacrifice of all who helped make it happen. Just Gotta figure out how with the current challenges to push ahead. You guessed it One Breath, One Moment One Day- One Penny at a time! We Pushing!!!!

August 9th -While I did not blog a lot I did write quite a bit in my project book. Sometimes good ole pen and paper is just more immediate and calming than the keys..

I could just end this post. I don’t want to write any further but I feel I must so I keep the page opened in the hopes that I will continue to write to stay focused to finish! Wanting to push beyond the un concern- the lackadaisical feeling of not caring, wanting to push but no longer sure where to or what to or how to….

Motivation comes in spurts…i am outside of my physical comfort zone on the edge of walking out of an old existence but unsure of what the new existence should be or even where it should be or how it should be. Literally at a crossroads…searching for some sort of direction. Sitting at a computer right now putting in destinations; it is the one thing I know I want is to travel…the one thing that feels right to my spirit. It is the only time I feel at home (ok maybe I am being somewhat dramatic here) but it is true…How can one want to live their life in transit… to not be settled in one place… it must come from always feeling like I am on the outside…never quite wanting to fit in and never quite feeling like I do…when anything starts to feel comfortable I pull away I need to pull away…

August 10th- In Transit Offers Wonderful opportunity- The ability to stand in uncertainty and find possibility is powerful- PUSHING!!!

Ok now I am just babbling so I am choosing to close this post. It helped writing…now will I have the courage to post. … Well if you end up reading this then I guess I did.

Tell then…I am yours always

A Long Lost Traveling Black Chick

LH

P.S. I feel it would be remiss of me not to say that there were many valuable lessons learned in this birthing and that I actually got a TRIP!!! Yea I am actually on quite the external journey just as uncertain as the tumultuous internal one.  Will tell you more about that when I get around to taking pics and some vids.

Biggest lessons learned- It is OK to start small and grow big- I mean the Mustard Seed has got to be the greatest example of this. I am hoping for my sake that during this birthing I have finally learned this! Lesson 2. No one owes me anything just because I have a dream doesn’t mean that anyone is meant to invest in it neither family nor friend and it is unfair to try to force or guilt them into doing so… A recurring lesson that continues to be a challenge- Under promise – Over Deliver! And finally the birth is really only the beginning….

Further after re-reading what I wrote initially on May 31st I must rephrase my earlier lament and say simply that I am currently again in a place of openness ready to receive and take the next steps in the brilliant adventure that is my life!  So it’s back to the drawing board … ASE

August 10th – Usain Bolt- Yohann Blake -Warren Weir- 123 Jamaica!!!!

Just received a most compelling Quote:

Most people Overestimate what they can accomplish in 12 months and Underestimate what can be accomplished in a decade….

 

 

Live Fully TODAY!

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About Black Chick

A silent seeker. Living Loud! Fascinated with the world! Producer, Director, Writer, Entrepreneur

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